WTF HAPPENED THIS WEEK?
A news recap by Amanda Perez
Vitaly Churkin, Russian ambassador to the U.N. died of a “heart attack” at 64. (Heart attack is in quotes because IMHO it’s shady af.)
Army Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster will replace Flynn as national security advisor.
Ex-Uber employee Susan Fowler exposes Uber as a sexist corporation. In her blog post, Fowler explains how Uber went from a female friendly start-up (25% engineers = women) to a boys’ club corporation (3% engineers = women). Aside from women as an endangered species in Silicon Valley, Fowler details an exhausting account of sexual harassment that wasn’t just ignored by HR, but that was somehow spun around to make Fowler look like the wrongdoer. Uber will launch an investigation.
Among the dozens of disgusting labels we can pin onto Milo Yiannopoulos, we can now add pedophile! An interview with the alt-right sexist has surfaced in which he deems “this kind of child abuse stuff” a hang up and defines consent as an “arbitrary and oppressive idea.” In a wild spin of almost-justice, the American Conservative Union has fired the Brietbart clown from speaking at its annual Conservative Political Action Conference event. A few hours later, Simon & Schuster cancelled its book deal with Yiannopoopface. Apparently Simon & Schuster is down with racism and sexism, but definitely not pedophilia. Yiannopoulos has resigned from Brietbart.
Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has become an “information source” for the president. Nothing I say about Alex Jones will be as poignant as what Papa Colbert had to say. Watch this.
For the first time ever, UK Parliament votes “no” on a U.S. President state visit. All hail the Queen.
Drumpf spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday, citing Paris as “no longer Paris.” France’s President Hollande urged Drumpf to act like an ally because “there is terrorism and we must fight it together.”
Protesters have been flooding local town hall meetings, and Republicans are freaking the hell out. Slave to greed and the GOP, Florida Senator Marco Rubio, has refused to hold any because “people get rude and stupid,” so his constituents held one without him and filled his seat with an empty suit.
The Trumps have cost taxpayers $11.3 million this January. The Obamas spent just over $12 million during each year of Barack’s presidency. Drumpf is on pace to outspend the Obamas total in just one year. Not to mention, some of these trips funded by our taxes are profiting the Trump family.
Drumpf withdrew guidance that required public schools to allow transgender students to use the bathroom which corresponds to their gender identity versus what’s listed on their birth certificate. The White House claims it’s a state issue.
The remaining wooden housing from the Dakota Access Pipeline protest camp was set aflame by the last protesters standing. Private protest camps are sprouting around the federal land where the pipeline’s construction will finally begin.
After Drumpf declared the media the enemy of the American people, The Washington Post changed their motto to “Democracy Dies in Darkness.” Super punk, super into it.
The LA Times, The NY Times, CNN, and the BBC were among a list of news publications barred from attending a White House briefing on February 24th. The Associated Press and Time Magazine declined to participate in the briefing, though they were invited, in solidarity with the blacklisted media outlets.
The Justice Department, now spearheaded by Attorney Villain Jeff Sessions, has rescinded an order issued by former Deputy Attorney Goddess Sally Yates which would have phased out the use of private, for-profit prisons to hold federal inmates.
Witches across the country cast a binding spell on Drumpf at the stroke of midnight on February 25th. Slide into my DMs if you want me to join your coven.